Please don't shed a tears or feel angry on the post that im about to write now. Im not asking for all of my FRIENDS SYMPATHY. I just want them to know the true feelings behind all of my work. Im not specifying who, to avoid conflicts and communication breakdown. please don't feel hurt when you people are reading this.
Deep down from my heart ...
Dear Friends,
if ever the day i am gone sooner than you, please don't shed a tear over me. Its not worth crying over a person like me. For everything that i do, its all for the sake of your own good. All this while, i have been a kind, caring, thoughtful, wise (in one way or another) and understanding guy/friend to some of you. I was there for you people when you needed someone by your side to cheer you up, to get you out of your dark LONG tunnel in life and to see the ray of light at the end of the tunnel which gives you countless of hopes, and not forgetting when you were extremely at the lowest point of your life; when you think that there is no meaning in carrying on this life of yours. I was there to pull you through. I was there to motivate you, to make you laugh and to do anything that i could think of to make you a better person and learnt from one mistake. I was even there when your friends leave you for good. I lend my ear, shoulder just to make you people happy. After all the sacrifises i have made, some of you return me with a good sign. I appreciate it very much. It means that i have successfully turned you into a better person or at least someone useful in this society. countless of thank you i say to you.
On the hindsight, there are a few blacksheeps that treat me like a fool. For example, one very clear view is when i was there for them. When they have reached their 'turning point of life', they treated me as though im invisible, transparent, opaque. They simply just dumped me one side and carry on with their daily lives without knowing that i need to have someone by my side during my difficult days or years. Yes, they have forgotten everything about the things that i had done for them in the past. Treat me like a LUMP OF SHIT. GO STRAIGHT TO THE NETHERWOLRD AND I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU PEOPLE FACES AGAIN !
I cared for them and checked up on those people asking them how was their day, are they ok, is there any obstacles that are hindering them from moving forward and many more. Not even a single one replied to my messages. If there is a better person who cares for you, then tell me straight away. I can just vanish from your sight and never look back again. Why should i carry and shoulder all this burden with me which makes me hard to move on in life ? WHY ?! I have wasted my SMSes on you people. Grateful to those of you who replied. gazillions of thanks i say to you.
Dying eh ? i dun give a piece of shit to you people.
THANKS A LOT FOR ACTING AS THOUGH YOU PEOPLE CARE FOR ME. thank you once more.
Is this how u repay your friend's kindness when you have gotten a better life, better person by your side ? And forgetting all the past memories which you don't wish to shoulder it with you and be a burden to you ? JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO MOVE ON IN LIFE AND never look back at the old unfateful memories ? BULLSHIT ! yea, its good that you are moving forward instead of backwards. Thats the main purpose of life. Look ahead of you and plan to have a better future in this competitive country.
You may see the happy side of me but when you get to know me better, my bad side is seriously bad. Please EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED. You may see me beaming with smile every single day in school but you people just simply do not know the problems that i am facing. For your info, those smiles that are beaming on my face are all FAKE ! yes, they are FAKE ! i SMILE just to make you people feel better and not worry about me.
I will only smile if i want to and in that way, its not a FAKE SMILE. Its original.
Once a happy haaziq and now no more.
don't shed a tear and ask how i am doing.
i shall just lead a normal and simple life and seriously CLEAN FORGET about all my friends.
If you people ask for it, i will not be hesitant to do that. I will do it RIGHT AWAY and shall stop caring for people around me.
I shall continue caring for people in the catergory of 'DEAREST TO ME'. They need me and i will be there for them in time of crisis.
i am repeating it now, I DON'T ASK FOR FRIENDS SYMPATHY. GET that stuck in your brain.
To the rest whole lot of you, take 5 steps back and VANISH FROM MY SIGHT. I only ask you to do this simple task for me as a return favour of my 'great help'. Can you do that ? BETTER DO SO.
Once again, thanks for acting as though you people care.